It feels like I’m sinking
all alone in my emptiness
not understanding why I am so alone
You are here though I am unable to be comforted
Lost in sorrow
drenched in tears
pain in the very depths of my heart,
along with my hopelessness and desolation
I cry out to You and I just plain cry
The surety that I have done something wrong
to have You ignore me in my despair
I just read where You, Jesus, had compassion because a widow lost her son
he died and You raised him from the dead
And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not. Luke 7:13
On me, I see no compassion
Surely my situation is easier to fix than raising someone from the dead
Maybe I lack faith
Or I’m like the unbelieving Israelites
who could not enter the promised land because of their unbelief
Perhaps I am asking for something that is not Your will
I cannot find the answer, no matter how hard I try,
how hard earnestly I seek You
I am numb and my wishes are in the wind, tattered and blown away
my desires are causeless
they are lost before they reach Your throne or else they have been dismissed, disregarded, thought of by You as unimportant
Have You seen my affliction, Lord Jesus, have You heard my prayers?
Are You commanding the powers of the world to take my sorrows
and turn them to joy?
Am I missing something?
Where are You, Lord?
I remain unfulfilled and tortured by my own thoughts
I know Your word is true
You cannot lie
But I have missed something
Something may need to be remedied,
something in my sadness seems to be peeking out
What is it, how can I fix it, what do I need to learn?
To trust me, child, to trust Me
To know that I allow things to happen
and withhold blessings for a time to bring a reliance on Me
Let me strengthen your faith by allowing you to wait
and know that I am answering your prayers,
I am bringing about what I have promised
and I will preform My word.
Wait and pray.
Scriptural References:
To the chief Musician upon Aijeleth Shahar, A Psalm of David. My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring? Psalm 22:1
And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
Matthew 27:46
Because ye trespassed against me among the children of Israel at the waters of MeribahKadesh, in the wilderness of Zin; because ye sanctified me not in the midst of the children of Israel. Yet thou shalt see the land before thee; but thou shalt not go thither unto the land which I give the children of Israel. Deuteronomy 32:51&52
And when he was in affliction, he besought the Lord his God, and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers, 2 Chronicles 33:12
Therefore I will not refrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul. Job 7:11
My bones are pierced in me in the night season: and my sinews take no rest. Job 30:17
Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins.
Psalm 25:18
I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble; thou hast known my soul in adversities; Psalm 31:7
I am feeble and severely broken; I groan because of the turmoil of my heart.
Psalm 38:8
Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins. Psalm 73:21
Trouble and anguish have taken hold on me: yet thy commandments are my delights. Psalm 119:143
RESH. Consider mine affliction, and deliver me: for I do not forget thy law.
Psalm 119:153
That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises. Hebrews 6:12