“So My heavenly Father also will do to you
if each of you, from his heart,
does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
Matthew 18:35
This statement from the Lord
came after He told the parable of a man
who had been forgiven much
but refused to forgive another who had owed him:
Should you not also have had compassion
on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’
And his master was angry,
and delivered him to the torturers
until he should pay all that was due to him.
Matthew 18:33-34
The whole parable can be found here: (Matthew 18:21-35)
I’m exposing my heart here
so try to imagine how God might see my heart
and my justifications
A few years ago, I was awakened in the middle of the night. My neighbor’s son’s car was in my garden. It was stuck on a large garden rock and she was spinning the tires and there was a loud grinding sound. She was in the car, and greeted me and said she was waiting for the tow truck. She said her son had lost control of the car. She assured me that he wasn’t drunk even though he had been drinking but had been on prescription medicine and didn’t understand how he got the car into my garden.
There was damage to the garden which was repairable. The rock won against the car and there were small car parts scattered which she cleaned the next day a little and I had to further pick up the mess.
There were two established perennials that were destroyed. They never came back and they were both beautiful and very hard to find. I looked for them for over two years when I had gone into various garden stores and had never seen either one of them. I know what one is called but not the other one. They were both beautiful and colorful and added so much to that part of my garden.
It bothered me that she enabled her son’s driving while not being able to drive safely, whether it was the prescription drugs or alcohol or a combination of them both.
She was the one who came back and cleaned up the garden, instead of teaching him responsibility for his actions and to replace the plants, she said, “Just let me know what needs to be replaced.”
There was no responsibility to me from her son who did not apologize or try to make retribution for his irresponsible behavior. That part of my garden remained bare except for the rock that withstood the incident. The memory of those two beautiful plants plagued me.
My neighbor moved. I still had her phone number. I finally found one of the plants. I texted her and told her I found a replacement plant. She never responded.
She came to visit another neighbor the other day. This has now been three years after the incident. I told her I found one replacement plant. I had to remind her. She was still locked in that prison.
She said, “You have my number, just let me know.”
The story of the unforgiving servant came to mind. From the bottom of my heart? Not even close. My justifications did not let her go. I locked her in the dungeon. Not only her but her son as well.
How much would I have pleased the Lord if I had been praying for her and her son all this time and those prayers helped them to come to the Lord? Big failure.
Above all, love each other deeply,
because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8 NIV
Right after I said it, even before I said it, I knew. I told the Lord,
“I mostly forgave her.”
“How would you like it if I partially forgave you?”