The flesh against the spirit.
How can that be that we have the same battle every day.
It changes but it’s really the same.
I have seen people who don’t battle much.
Does that mean they are pretty nearly perfect?
They are just always content?
I don’t really know what it means, but it is surely not me.
My life is not like that.
I have very strong feelings about everything.
I am black or white, hot or cold and tough decisions while carrying my cross.
That goes along with my job of being a plumbline. I cannot stand things crooked.
I need the Lord every hour to help me sort things through,
to be able to put away my thoughts that war against His.
Sometimes we want someone to understand, but that cannot always be.
Of course Jesus understands. It’s also nice to have a human who almost understands you as well.
My friend that understood me has died.
At least she was in my life for many years.
The Lord Jesus opens doors and closes doors.
When I toil and am ensnared, He comes through for me.
David was hated by his own wife for dancing before the Lord.
David would have understood.
David was not without fault. He would have understood that about me as well.
So, if we cannot find a human who is alive who understands us,
we can always find a person in the word of God whose thoughts have been forever scribed in God’s word
that will never disintegrate but will help to carry us through.
Sometimes I feel like Jonah, a sort of failure of the Lord who was selfish.
Jonah wanted to just go about his day without so many cares and responsibilities that God gave him.
Or I feel like the guy, Balaam, whose donkey had to talk to him because he wasn’t listening.
Or I feel like Esther who had an important word and whose life was important just for that moment.
Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s not.
Learning, growing, never completely making it.
Falling, getting up, running again to get to the finish line.
Jesus said we need to take up our cross daily.
And He said to them all, If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself,
and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. Luke 9:23
At least we get to rest while we sleep.
It’s heavy and cumbersome. There is no way to leave it behind. it’s a part of us.
We would be empty and useless without it.