A friend said she hated someone the other day.
I actually cannot stand the person she said that about.
What came out of my mouth?
We have to love our enemies.
What I said fell flat.
I don’t know what my friend was thinking because she didn’t say anything.
It brought the memory back to me of when I hated my own mother.
I could not get rid of that hate. It was there and it was solid and it was strong.
I told the Lord I did not want to have it anymore.
It left.
I did not do it. God did it. I could not have done it.
But it was no longer inside of me.
That did not mean I all of a sudden had tremendous love for my mother. Not even close.
I just did not have the hate anymore. It was gone.
That was a miracle.
It was not my doing. I was incapable. It was Jesus who cleansed it from me.
The wickedness of people, we cannot fix.
How we feel about them we can offer to the Lord as a sacrifice.
He will take it and He will do what He does. Cleanse us from sin.
Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin. Psalm 51:2
Without the hatred, the relationship I had with my mother stood a chance.
We never became warm and fuzzy.
It never became that.
Did I love her?
In a way. Not the way a daughter might love a mother in the sense that is considered normal.
It wasn’t there.
We had what we had, but without hate.
So, if I didn’t have the idealistic love for my mother, how is my friend supposed to love her enemy?
Loving is not always touchy-feely.
Maybe it is praying for their best.
Maybe it is wishing them well, praying that their eyes might see the harm they are causing.
I do not know exactly what it means, how my friend is supposed to pray or feel.
I do not see as God sees. I only understand in part. I can only speak from my experiences.
I can only relate it to the word of God that clarifies things and gives us strength.
I do not have all the answers.
I am not better than anyone else because I also struggle with hatred
and wanting to see my enemies repaid for what they have done.
I try to remember that repaying them is not my responsibility.
Vengeance belongs to God, not to me. I cannot change them or fix them.
To Me belongeth vengeance, and recompence; their foot shall slide in due time:
for the day of their calamity is at hand, and the things that shall come upon them make haste. Deuteronomy 32:35
I can’t fix the enemies and I might even have to see them every day.
I struggle because I do have to see that wicked enemy lady almost every day.
I must commit her to the Lord again and again.
It is the only way because the bad feelings keep creeping back in, like a vine. A vine of bitterness.
Ugly, dead and destructive.
I want none of that ugliness inside of me. I have no choice but to give it to God over and over.
He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.
Proverbs 28:13
Lay them at His altar and let Him take it from there.